Here’s is an audio recording from co-facilitator, Barbara Avila, with a summary of tips from our C2U Before the Peak 21-day challenge.
Welcome to day 13 of our 21 day challenge. In the last summary, I talked about the importance of calming your and the child’s systems so that you both can be curious about one another. Do not add to the flood, take care of yourself, be curious about what makes the child tick. Today, I’ll go deeper in the next tips you have seen this past week on our Facebook group…there was a lot this week so bare with me!
Create a peaceful home base of your child. When behaviors flare, it is so easy to forget to create and share moments that are enjoyable… but these are absolutely critical for your child to see you as their safe and soothing zone they can call home. Create or return to routines of reading each night, giving hugs for no reason other than the fact that you love each them, sit and play – really let go and play. Kids find it more rewarding and validating to simply play with them than you know. During these times, connect and share…. Partner to solve problems together and enjoy one another. On day 12 we talked about resisting the urge to solve things too soon. Allow your child the time and enjoyment of solving problems BEFORE you step in and solve them for them. It’s a wonderful gift that leads to independence! And when the times are rough, wait for that storm to pass then use what are called “bids” to connect that are small, simple, and caring. A simple offer of a toy, a touch on a shoulder, or even just sitting near silently can build trust and connection.
Part of ensuring a peaceful home is also to provide and ensure good physical health. Please help you and your child avoid those “hangry” moments and sugar crashes whenever possible. Good nutritious snacks go a long way for ourselves, our children, and often our spouses, too in improving interactions!
If you have a child who is impulsive or a behavior that is severe enough that you just HAVE to address it in the very moment it happens, we get it. So have an immediate replacement available. It does not have to be a perfect solution. You can access OTs, and teachers for getting more specific and long term alternatives…but in the meantime, if you have a biting, offer something appropriate to do for the child’s mouth…. If you have a hitter, find something appropriate to explore hitting or simply something ELSE to do with your child’s hands like holding or carrying something. So speaking of OTs, most children love to explore their worlds from a sensory perspective and you might consider putting together a bin or bins JUST for that purpose! Celebrate your child’s sensory exploration by providing opportunities for it instead of being the one to always say “no!” when your child is attempting to figure out the world in this way!
Oh how I love this one. Behaviors can be so much fun for children to play with… especially if they get a fun response out of you. So take those sails out of those behaviors by being open and honest about them! Explore them! So similar to exploring sensory instead of trying to stop it… explore the areas your child is challenging you with behavior. What I mean is, if your child is swearing, try writing down all the swear words you know together in a list! Say them, offer to review them, talk about them… then throw the list away or tuck it somewhere safe – but be sure to offer talking about them anytime your child asks.
If you ask a yes/no question, be prepared to honor it when your child says “no.”