Allow time and shared control


Instead of rushing from one place to the next, make sure you are providing your child with information and ways to share control.

We all can get task focused and forget that our children need more time to hear and process our requests. Taking the time to provide information can save time later – if your child drops to the floor in a grocery store due to feelings of frustration, it may be them telling you they need more processing time.

So one way to move your child from the floor and back into what you need them to be doing, is to simply provide processing time.

Offering choices within a non-choice can also provide a child with a sense of shared control when the overall goal is not open for debate.

For example, offering for a child to carry his backpack or your purse to the car allows shared control without negotiations about whether or not to get in the car. 

When modifying how you share control, avoid slipping down the slippery slope of negotiation that can lower expectations or to demands for compliance. This happens when we are the “end of our ropes,” and may need to find calm for ourselves first.

Again, the take away message is to calm the storm by providing processing time, information, and by sharing control.

When you do these things consistently, you will find yourself enjoying experiences together versus finding your child dropping to the floor in search of processing time or a natural need for some control.

Is this tip helpful? Are you looking for more ways to deal with challenging behaviors? If yes, check out our Calm the Chaos at Home video tutorial series. Click HERE to access practical tips you can apply immediately.

Are you an early educator looking to calm the chaos in your classroom? Click HERE to access our calming the chaos classroom series.