Figuring out how to respond, not react…and how to support, not to scold is a tall challenge…particularly in the middle of a melt down.
The goal of the 21-day challenge is to offer a bit of inspiration and a whole bunch of tips to help families and those who support families, to forge strong relationships, create curiosity, and see situations where children are acting out, as times when their bodies are responding to stress.
Here’s is an audio recording from co-facilitator, Barbara Avila, with a summary of tips from this week’s challenge.
It is now Day 6 of our lovely 21 day challenge. Thank you for joining us and we hope that you have begun to experience a mindshift in regards to tough behaviors. This little audio recording is just for you to summarize what you have read this week. You can also sign up to receive all of the 21 tips in one downloadable book, if you wish.
So thinking about calming a child’s system so that they can be truly and genuinely curious is key. You can never teach in the middle of a meltdown, just as you cannot repair a house in the middle of a hurricane. Don’t even try. Do whatever you need to ensure safety in that moment. There is plenty of time to teach when you and the child are in a better place for trusting, connecting, and learning.
Taking time to observe yourself and your child will be a lifesaver. First you must be sure that you are not overfilling your own cup – meaning you need to be open to what you see. You have to observe with an open mind and well taken care of body. Then observe the child to see what “makes them tick”. What are they curious about, what do they love to do? What do they get frustrated about? Assume that they wish to connect and engage… but they need your help. What are they struggling with that is getting in the way?
And last and not trivial is the fact that we really just have to imagine the child in the midst of an emotional and chaotic flood when they are having behaviors that challenge you and others. Adding to that flood only makes it worse. So stop talking, relax your own body. Sit down as safety permits… so instead of adding to the flood with your frustrations, anxiety, and upset, be their safety net. Do not add to the flood.